HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY CH'NG VEN!!! Sorry I couldn't be there for your party :(

Shitz happened today. Released my anger/sadness/#$@! at various people today. I'm sorry, I pity yous but thank you (you know who yous are) for your ears, eyes and presence. I went over to YWen's place today to help her with her PC. I felt better after that...I don't know why. YWen doesn't know this. She won't know about this until she reads this. I hope she's doing ok with the video cam now. Lalala long story. Thank you YWen. Hehehe.

What the *uck happen? Well...my 1st sem results came out today. I didn't do well. I guess my subconscious wish came true. I told myself it would be great to get *ucked up results so I would be able to turn myself back to the normal geek me and focus. My results may seem ok for certain people, but not for me. I know there's more to me than that. So much more. So people, I know its weird/selfish or what ever you may call it, but stop telling me how "good" my results are because I know they are not. I need words of encouragement. Not consoling words. I need positive encouragement, I need to hear it from your mouth. Don't pity me with your words, its a damned turn off. If I ever hang up on anyone about this topic, let me apologies first, because what you are saying will only lower my will power to strive for what I want. I know I'm a stubborn selfish thick headed bitch. Sue me later. I have been losing focus since my birthday last year. I realised that. I know many of you realise that too, esp Zhong. I've got to be back on track now, before it's too late to do anything. I need my real life back. No point crying over spilt now. All I want is my focus.

I think my parents thinks I'm an alcoholic. Long story, but not related to me being drunk.