Random blabbing again

Random blabbing again.

Reading 1#his, 2#his, and 3#his blog reminded me of working during the DeepaRaya holidays, office politics and ...my birthday!!

1# I know I couldn't get much out of it but I thought I'll just try. No harm in trying anyway right? But as "expected" (say it with your arms akimbo, wear your geeky glasses and without opening your mouth too much...ahahah the Ron Kaufman style) la didn't get much out of it but.. little better than nothing.

Oh yahh and did I mention I was denied parking space when I wanted to park my car at my company's parking space on a Sunday evening during the holidays? I didn't say this to the UNCLE GUARD at that time but I'm going to vent it here. "You BODOH kar, you think I'm back at office at 7pm on a holiday weekend for fun? I'm here for work and it's an emergency. Only 2% of the car park space is used up.. why can't your bloody let me in? Who cares if your boss is around, who cares I don't have a parking sticker. If my problem don't get solved, the company WILL LOSE MONEY!" I didn't have time to piss him off so I reversed and almost slamming my car into another car that was entering the space. I ended up parking at the road side. "Safety first" MY ASS. I worked until the AMs and scary to say that I had to walk to the road side to get my car. "Safety first" MY ASS!!!

I'm so so disappointed at the guard who was on duty that time. Old uncle, I remember your face... I'll haunt you don't worry. I'm evil yes, but that's only you pissed me off at a really bad time. ...It's a week now and I still feel fired up on this issue.

I hope the management and my boss take this seriously and do something about this. People who come back for work should be let in with or without parking stickers. It's just stupid if I had to go back to work at 3am on any day and be denied of parking just because I don't have a parking sticker. Where's the logic to that? You expect someone (and especially I'm female, I can't defend myself as strongly as men) to park a few 100 meters away at 3am where there's parking 5 steps away.

Oh, and I wasn't the only one who parked at the road side. There were cars parked along the road side, one which belongs to a colleague who ended up in the office too. I bet the guard was sneezing a lot because my colleague and I were complaining all night about him.

2# I always thought that I'm not capable enough of doing things myself when it comes to work. I really dislike depending on people because that gives them a change to screw you up. Office politics? All I can say is you have got to save your own ass cos everyone is too faced. Still can't believe I'm taking all his shit for him.

I realized I'm not that useless and dumb after a conversation with my colleague recently. He pointed out a few things that I didn't take into account before. Things like "You can't compare yourself with someone who has year++ of experience and certifications. You came in blur and fresh." Now that the sentence sunk in, of course. But hor… I’m not blur and fresh anymore you know.

Am I giving myself too much pressure? I don't know man. I don't know where I stand. I just feel so small and tiny and insignificant. I don't feel secured within myself.

Sometimes its just so hard to be heard. Especially when you have "negative elements" that steals your light or shower your with needles. Heh... I guess it will always be like that.

3# Ok. My birthday is not really nearing, but I'm more excited this year. Last year was *boo hoo* year for me. I didn't even have the mood to celebrate. Actually this year too but I'm so sick of being a crying baby party pooper. I want a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

What's on my wish list?
1. A air\sound\coffee filter to filter all that bull shit back stabbing filthy disgrace to the human kind people out of my life. Ok la, I was over exaggerating. No one can give me this, I have to give it to myself. I have to learn to ignore more, close an eye, burst an eardrum. I'm taking in way too much responsibly... I have to learn not to be over guilty conscious. It's not within my hands... it's not within my hands.

2... Hm I don't have a wish list yet actually... hm.. got to work on that. But don't worry, I'll email you all then I have it, so no excuse for not getting me something ;P

I want to have a party this year!! But I have no idea what sort. Day outing party? Whole day of lepaking, movie, or maybe get everyone for white river rafting!! But then again that's not everyone's cup of coffee. Dinner party? BBQ, buffet, fine dinning, japaneseeeee, laid back house boozing party. Night party? Clubbing, pubbing... getting old for that HAHAHAHHA. Big scale? Small scale?

Womannn I need your help to plannnnn.

Hm.. maybe you all can just come over. I'll cook. Whahahaha, toilets are open ;P