I don't like being in the state I'm in now. Mentally and physically sick. I feel in secure about everything. Am I thinking too much? I don't think I am. So many questions. But no answers this time.

Am I really happy? Or am I just faking it? I don't want to lie. Especially to myself. I need to know. But I'm confused.

Do you feel loved but not loved? Do you feel energy but yet still tired? Do you feel you have did your best, but it's really not your best? Do you feel alive?, but really you are just sick. Questions questions questions...

...its ironic. I can cry the tears of joy, but the fact is, the tears are tears of sadness. It's like laughing so hard at a joke until you cry but continue crying because the sadness in you just flows out. It's sad when I need to lie to myself. But then again, don't we all do?

Can someone help me answer my question? Am I truly happy?