And my feelings from this morning disperse? NO. My 'alone time' walking to and from work helped a little but what seemed like a peaceful (at least peaceful for my mind) evening turnout to be an awakening for me.

I'm very calm now. So all words used on this entry are not based on my 'all pissed off and insulted' feelings I had this morning, though I can say I feel even more insulted now. This morning was the first wave; I got hit harder by the second wave I got in the evening. Now, how nice is that?

I don't know where to start. I just have too much to pour out. I have no idea where this blog will lead to... but here goes...

Have you ever felt so disappointed and insulted in your life until you would actually give a big tight slap towards someone you have feelings for? That was how I felt this morning, even now. Actually I feel even more insulted and disappointed now, but the melancholy of the whole issue just blew my top. In the movie 'The Mexican', Julia Roberts said "When enough IS enough?" To Brat Pitt there is no enough. But for me, this is where I draw my line.

After everything that happened in the past, I still had faint for what I'm holding on. But I lost it all today. The insults and disappointment just overwhelmed me. It's like what Mr Triple Dash (---) quoted "If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend." It is you, someone whom I thought understood me, well, I think wrong. But I still don't get it, how can one be such an IDIOT even after repeatedly being told to the face seriously.

I still have much to say. But more is less, and less is more. I'm just sick of explaining myself. I don't have too. I don't need to. I know I'm not that idiot. That's enough for me.

All I have left to say is a line of advice for non-idiots that get what I mean. It took me so long to realise that "When there is no trust, there was no trust".