Today is the sixth day of 2006.

Today is the sixth day of 2006. By now I should have my resolutions all figured out, but it's not surprising that I'm still drifting. ...here goes nothing..

I do have some personal goals I want to meet, but that's going to take a few years. What is that? Well, I'm smart enough now not to share it with every Tom, Dick and Harry, Marry, Sarah and Lily. Sometimes I think I just let myself say too much. I can really shut up when I want to, but sometimes I just can't help but chatter away. And when I do, I often notice that I share too much with people I hardly know because of this irritating Miss Smarty Pants ego I have. A few times, people I talk to take what I have said and say it as if it was their comment\idea. Pisses me off. I guess I'm not so 'smart' there by letting people stealing word that came out of my mouth. It's hard to be the 'diam diam ubi berisi' type of person sometimes. ...but I should learn how to keep my mouth shut. So, resolution #1. Talk only when needed\try harder to shut up.

Working full time for a little more than a year has taught me quite a lot. I learnt even more after being ATL. Everyone is superficial, no one is genuine. Observing some colleagues at work have made me a more alert person. I'm learning from people's experiences, learning from my own experience, learning from what people have to say about each other (...especially gossip. I believe that those who gossip are the really 'dangerous and cunning' people), and of course... learning from those tiny indirect words, body gestures and eye contact all that office politics brings upon me. Resolution #2 will be one of my long term goals. Keep out of 'dangers' way and if I land in the path of danger, I will defend myself, even if I have to play dirty. In the work place, it's war. Everyone is superficial, I am everyone. *evil...but I'm just being honest here*

Baking, cooking and eating.... well with all of that I have to really control my weight now. I have reached and went over my ideal weight. Some people still say "You so skinny, eat more la" or "You under weight la" or "Never mind, she can take more, she is like a stick", but really, what do they know. If you are one of then, really, what do you know? I find it so god damn irritating when people say that to me because they don't wear the pants that was once a little over sized but now it's impossible to fit in because it won't button up, it is me who wear's it. Think I'm exaggerating? Well I'm not. The key to looking like a 'stick' it is to 'know how to dress to cover'. #3 Maintain current weight, start an exercise routine and stick to it, and stop eating all side excessive eating! (This is going to be really hard because it seems that I have this tiny compulsive sweet tooth eating disorder according some people... Eat first think later got me and holding on to me too strong) People, don't buy me food... seriously.

Money not enough, so how? I have got a few projects on the drawing board for months now but time is an issue for me. I have got to find time to look for some other income other that my full time job. This year is really going to be hard on me because my expenses have doubled compared to last year. I have got to do something before I'm declared as bankrupt. #4 Do something to improve my finance status.

Everyday I face this problem but I do nothing. I know this is happening, I do care that this is happening, but I do nothing. I give myself excuses, I close and eye and lie to myself, I be patience. But nope, I think there's a limit to everything. I'm reaching that limit. I'm not going to bother anymore. Nope, not anymore. I could not say it was an waste of effort... it was just effort was not appreciated. Maybe I am sensitive and expecting too much, but hey, if I stop bothering, I wouldn't be expecting. No more disappointment. #5 Put myself first before anyone because it is I who loves myself the most and it is only I that can make myself truly happy.

Last, but not least, #6 Get a new job!

... speaking about jobs... another one of my colleague’s is leaving. It's like singing bottles of beer.

20 bottles beer,
20 bottles beer,
1 fell down and broke,
That leaves 19 bottles of beer.

HAHAHA the lyric is not like that but something similar.