Your regrets, not mine

Life is so unfair when you are in your early twenties, young, beautiful *puke puke cough cough* and single. Every single relative I talk to is telling sharing with lecturing me about "picking your life partner 101".

My reaction? "OH PLEASEEEE NOT AGAINNNNNNN!!!!"

40 years down the road, I think I will be one of them aunties lecturing some other young and single relatives on "Ah girl, got boyfriend already or not? Have to find one quick you know, you won't stay young forever. Make sure he is good you know... must be able to take care of you."

So irritating! And what can I do? Puke on a fake smile and nod my head to everything that is said (not like I'm listening anyway) while my heart goes "Yah Yah bla bla bla yada yada yada...pls la, give me a break aunty, your generation and mine is totaly different. Let me tell you what I think and then you tell me if that's what you wanted to tell me".

"People that have eaten more salt compared to me eating rice" thinks that the younger generation (like me) have no clue about relationships and maraiges. You know what? You maybe right, but give us credit and keep that ego because we can teach you and TELL you what we know and already know.

1# Obviously I know I'm going to grow old and die an "oh ba ba" if I don't find a life partner. But when it comes it comes. I know I won't stay young forever and I know time flies quickly and I'll "age". I KNOW THAT ALREADY.

2# I will never ever EVER be involved with a married man and be some third\fourth\fifth ...party in any relationship. NEVER. So please don't give me that lecture.

3# I don't see why I have to look for a wealthy partner. You all "experienced" people think that marring a rich partner will make you rich. Must have house, must have car, must have this, must have that. Come one man, and I though you are experienced? It's all about potential. So what if you have a billionaire husband but 10 years down the road a bankruptcy? Isn't life more meaningful if you grow rich with someone you love?

Thinking like "Hm.. he's got a stable job and income, polite, fatherly figure... ok la can marry" is totally not me. No, no, no.

4# You can judge a person a little by looking at how he\she treats his\her family, friends and strangers. But then, you have to also know if he\she is faking it. Everything seems perfect when people are in love. All the sacrifices, all the "aiyah nevermind la" and the "it's ok". But when time comes, "why like that one?!" or the "not ok la, why you so selfish?!". Having someone loving you and having someone loving you being you is very very different.

5# I could never be with someone who;
- looks down on people, especially me.
- I don't respect
- beats me!
- hides their past
- lies, and hides the real truth

Sometimes you think that hiding the past or some truth will help in a relationship, I guess you are right. But not for me. I'm not a person who judges a person by his\her past, but I would still like to know the "thick dusty history" behind him\her... especially what he\she learnt from it. What really sucks and really is disappointing is learning the history from rumors and not from them self. What's even worst is when the whole truth is only reveled when in a "last resort to save his\her ass\relationship" kind of situation. Cheap and disrespectful trick. You think your partner is so dumb ah? Playing dumb and putting all that "ignorance is bliss" action on doesn't mean feelings she\he feels nothing.

6# I think I'm moving off track.. so back to the topic. Even if there is a perfect man, I am not perfect. Even with Mr.Right, no family and marriage is perfect. So aunties-aunties sekalian, please take back all that bullshit. I never believed marriage is\will be perfect. There will come a time where trust will questioned, the "other hanky panky stuff going on", the anger outburst, the hurtful words, the selfish biatch\beast.... I know that for a fact. I know that already so don't waste time telling me how picking the right man will solve all that.

And the list goes on ....

Butttt, at the end of the day, listing all this and listing what criteria you want in your partner won't really mean anything. Why?

Love concurs it all.

Even the most stubborn egoistical bitch can just burn that list when in love. The list.... it's just a guide. So auntie-auntie, I know that the list will come in handy if I never fall in love *touch wood*, but if I do, that is my life to live.

"Yalah, make decision already then don't regret lo". Life is full of regrets. It's so fake when people say they have no regrets because in some point there will be regrets, maybe not big ones but even the small regrets counts. So if regret, it's my regrets. You may not realize this but a reason you aunties-aunties are telling me this because deep down in side you there's regret!

Learn and move on. No point lecturing to some young and single person on your regrets!