I miss my ex-project manager
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A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested, "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand You need television.” There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.
Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at.
This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouses character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."
She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
TRUST
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer.
When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.
Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.
Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.
"You can never have everyone praise you nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear."
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Something I got on email from my ex-project manager. I miss her already.
She won't be sitting next to me anymore. Boohoo :( After closing out my team’s project, she started on another project and started working with her newly formed team (that is spread across the globe). Although she can sit and wants to still sit at the same place, her boss wanted her to join the rest of the team on a same floor. Everyone who was working on projects is grouped together although their work don't relate to one another.
One of my friend A already shifted, and now my ex-project manager and another guy who is running projects (all three of them was sitting with me and JY in the same room) is now shifting. Only me and JY will be left in the big empty room. Work is going to get real boring starting Monday.
It's funny, when I first join the company, I felt stressed out sitting next to my ex-project manager. But now, I don't want her to go. I have learnt so much from her, stuff about work, family, and life. I will really miss the after lunch talks and the 'what's in the news today' talks with her. ....have got no one to motivate me at work already... *hais* I hope some other manager or big boss comes in.
3 Comments:
it's a good post. you will have other equivalents of that project managers, or better still, be the equivalent of that project manager to others.
Relationship is based upon trust and respect. ANd sometime a person's bad habit is wat made them so unique :P Like i got a fren who;s kinda bitchy but after getting to knoe her better, i kinda prefer her to be bitchy rather than acting cute and polite :P Haha, weird me~
cj : be the equivalent. be the equivalent. *YOSHHH* Gambatteh! ...but easier said than done.
acrix: hehehe we love people for all their flaws right?
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