You dont need to be alone to feel loneliness

I received a very meaningful email from a very dear friend... echo("

I think after you start to work, you will realize that you will need more space for yourself, rather than spend it with others. Your family members, your best pal, or anyone. Because we spend too much time, daily with different kind of people. We need to pause to analyse whatever that is in our mind, our life, our surrounding …everything.

9 to 5 working style or 9 to OT will definitely lead you towards this situation. Or I should say, in our life there are some many stages and phrases, where we need to stop for a moment to adapt to it. That's the time we want to be alone, or your so called ‘shut down’, to rebuild ourselves after all those changes, to re-arrange those methods in a program. This helps to get to know ourselves even better and deeper. Understand what are we are all looking forward now. What's our next plan? I do enjoy being alone, I enjoy being alone all this time, since the old days till now. My ex schoolmates used to address me as ‘One Swordsman’. Always being alone, but it really helps to make your mind think better, develop your inner self or should I say to become more mature.

But being alone does not equal to being lonely right? It looks similar but there’s a big difference. Being able to be true and real to ourselves is kind of enjoyment which sometimes people don’t understand it. I admit I am alone but I am not lonely, I dun feel loneliness, because I know how I am going to spend my time, I know what I want to do. Do things which normally I don’t have the chance to do, to do anything as long as I am happy with it.

We usually are kind to people, so much of acting, pretending in our lives, a social’s life. A person may be alone, but she doesn’t feel loneliness because she’s not empty inside.");

All this while I was trying hard to explain to people what/how I really feel. This email really says it all for me. Especially the last sentence. One maybe alone, but one may not feel loneliness. One may have plenty of friends, but still feel the loneliness.

I don't know man. Do I really want to be alone? Yes I think so. But Mr Triple Dash, whom never fails to enlighten me with his wisdom, saw through me, something that I would not realise if not for his words. I want to be alone, but I want to be wanted. ....but getting the 'right' people to want you might be harder. ...thinking about the conversation I had with Cheryl during the last buffet steamboat too now. Sometimes we can't figure the simplest things; we need someone else to tell us that.

I wonder if being wanted by the right people will make me not feel this ‘I want to be alone’ feeling that I’m feeling right now. ….I think too much…. *sign*