Streamyx's Help Desk

I have not been able to connect to the Internet for the past 2 days. I called 1-300-88-9515, that's Streamyx's toll free customer support number, for help.

I have to say that their Help Desk service improved tremendously. Or maybe I just haven been getting a down time long\frequent enough to ring them up. It's a good thing of course. I used to have to wait a really long time just for a Help Desk person to attend to me. But this time, I didn't have to wait at all. I got through the pre-recorded voice thingy and someone was already waiting on the other line. I made my report and stuff like that and I was then given my report number (I'm guessing this is the ticket number). Anyway, when I got home today I'm able to logon to the Internet! Yay!!!

I decided to be a nice customer. I rang the Help Desk up again to close off my report. I know it’s a pain in the arse to have many reports open. I got through immediately again. *thumbs up*. I gave my report number and it's done.

Both of the Help Desk personnel I spoke to was very nice. They had a happy voice, so even if you are so god damn pissed about your Streamyx connection, hearing them would at least make you calm down a little.

Sometimes calling up Help Desk can be such a pain in the arse. You'll be put on hold for ages and get some shitty person who can't solve your problem. However, I do pity Help Desk people because some do get calls from very very stupid and idiotic users.

Help Desk (HD) : Hello this is ABC Help Desk and this is XXX speaking, How may I help you?
Customer (c): Alo, yah... eh how come I cannot on my PC nothing one? My monitor never show anything.
HD: Ok sir, stand up and look behind the CPU, are all the cables plugged in?
c: Yah its in wad. *press the On button on the CPU* see still cannot la.
HD: Have you checked the On button on your monitor?
c: Har? oh...monitor also got On button one ah? Wait ah I try. *press the monitor On button*
HD: Can you see the On light on the monitor? If its idle, it will be yellow, it will turn green if you on your PC
c: Har where got. No light also. Eh so ma farn, call someone to come to my place and fix la.
HD: You should see a light. Can you double check all the cables?
c: What is this man, I say check already la. I check before I call you all also what. *getting irritated and pissed* * checks the cables again*
HD: Are all of it in their slots? Make sure they are not loose.
c: Ya laaa still cannot.
HD: Have you check you power supply. Is your wall plug plugged in properly?
c: Yes laaa....ehh how come not plugged in one?
HD: Yes sir, what is not plugged in?
c: The wall plug la. What you all doing, who go and take out one! Wasting my time *&^^$*^)(*(#$#$#%^ *hangs up the phone*
HD: NANI?!! WTF!

If you think this is stupid, well... this is what many Help Desk people have to deal with. So, as a user myself, I told myself to always remain calm during all conversation with Help Desk personnel. Sometimes when you speak properly to them, they tend to attend to your problems more attentively. No point getting pissed of at Help Desk persons actually, it's not their fault that the problems exist. They are there to help you.

Two thumbs up for Streamyx’s Help Desk.

Shopping with no money

My bro asked earlier today if he could share my mom's birthday gift. I told him I didn't know what I was getting her yet (...her birthday is tomorrow already!) I was planning to spend my mom dinner but I failed to do so twice in a row. Mom didn't let me pay for dinner yesterday, and today mom was too tired to have a nice dinner so we just had a quick bak kut teh dinner.

So...bro, I had to resort to plan B. But.... I didn’t have a plan B. I had to lie to get out of the house. I told my parents I wanted to go out to look for dance classes so I could start next month. I went to 1U instead. I went around various places to look for my mom's favourite stuff. Mom seems to like Vincci's shoes a lot but they didn't sell gift vouchers. =( I wanted to get MNG or G2000 vouchers but my mom don't really shop in MNG and G2000's clothes are usually not to her body cutting. I wanted to buy her something from body shop, but so standard la.

The new Christine Dior perfume was on display and the sales girl sprayed some on my hands. Smells really nice! I think my mom would love it! (I like it too hehehe) But she's got 101 bottles of perfume already. I didn't know what to buy liua. Wanted to go to KLCC tomorrow to get MAC Fifth Avenue makeup voucher for her already… or just buy her a nice thick chocolate cake from Strudels.

My sis who tagged along suggested we checkout the manicure and pedicure studio. I remembered once when we went shopping together, my mom commented on a manicure and pedicure. I called Jin, my Guru, for some advice, headed to Glitterz to checkout the price and services there.

When I went in, the first thing that the lady responded was 'Ni ke yii chiang hwa yi ma?' (Can you speak in Mandrine) ???What theeee... Ok... Ke yii. .... ke yii my foot. I suck in Mandarin. I could hardly put my thoughts to words, but at last I manage to get my message across. She didn't understand what a gift voucher was so she just ended up giving me her bosses name card and ask me to make an appointment before I come. ... NEXT... this place is out.

I went to Missy Nails next to check things out. Yes, the owners speaks English! *rejoice* and yes they do sell gift voucher. She told me they kind of just implemented it too! I was in luck. I told her want I was looking for and *violah* I got my mom's SPA manicure and pedicure voucher! The rest of the story is history.

I did a little window shopping before leaving for home. I saw so many things that I liked. Wahahaha if only I had the $ to spend.

1. Seed long purse\handbag kind of bag. Comes in purple or black. DAMN NICE! But it's RM130!!! New season ma. *cries*

2. Seed work jacket. RM159. .....ahhhhhh but very nice. I might cough out that money to get it. RARRRR

3. One beige cardigan I saw. RM69. It's in the Padini concept store, in between Vincci and Padini. Nice style. I think that type of cardigan is in fashion now because I have seen similar designs in various different shops. The cardigan is worn a little over size on the top, and tight at the waist. The buttons are at the waist and warping the waist and a little of the mid drift. Then there will be a string to tie from back to front. Nice for a casual outing and also for work.

4. White long sleeve ladies work shirt with stripes as patterns in G2000. RM129. You know... back when I was in college, if I see a shirt I love like that, I wouldn't think twice. I would just buy it. But now when I'm earning my own $$$... I feel the pain.... the pain ...painnnn

Even a g-string can cost me RM40. Yohhh.

Hais..... I need a sugar daddy. .... HAHAHAHA yeah rite. I need a second job.

bitch arse rude daughter

It’s so sickening when my parents argue over the most trivia matters. Ish. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being a very rude daughter when I interrupt their argument and shut them up. I would definitely get a slap in the face if I was younger.

I used to shut myself out from all these arguments last time. I didn’t like when they are making a lot of noise\fuss about everything. When my parents argue and hit on each others ego, I would usually stay in my room and turn on the TV or stereo. Sometimes when I’m using my PC, and they start the cat and dog fight, I would just resume my work and put on my headphones. …Actually by letting them argue, I know it makes things worst, but I don’t know why I just didn’t care in the past. Maybe they argue so often until it’s like a norm for me. Sometimes I don’t even get worried/bother when they argue. I get more irritated.

When I was a kid, my parents would always tell me and my siblings to “Don’t fight today ah, no arguments ah, today is a happy day, want to fight then fight tomorrow”. Even on New Years Eve, my parents will tell us to tolerate each other for the new years, “Don’t start the new year with arguments ok”. My parents have become hypocrite.

I don’t know man… maybe I was too young and selfish to bother about all this things in the past. But now, when I choose to take notice of things, well…. I notice a lot that I dislike. Since then I have actually noticed that my parents actually argue a lot. I always believe there is no real ‘happy family’. There’s no perfect family. There’s no perfect marriage either. If you don’t agree with me, …well don’t be naïve, open your eyes my dear. There are bound to be arguments and extremely sad and depressing moments in every house hold. But all this arguments and fights are really taxing on our (me and my sis) brains. It’s not easy to stay invisible when my parents fight. I wished I have stayed blur on household matters, at least I can have a peace of mind at home.

It’s so ‘sien’ when they argue. Very very irritating too sometimes. My parents actually argued before dinner during my dad’s and sis’s birthday celebration. And the same thing happened today for my mom’s birthday celebration. I lost my cool and became a very rude daughter. I didn’t want to side neither my mom nor dad, because I was actually pissed at both of them for spoiling the mood. So… I gave really rude and sarcastic but true remarks about them and their arguments. You know what the worst thing? I didn’t fell sorry after I said those words. Both my parents were lost of words and it was all silent after than.

I have no idea what was going on with me. I’m becoming very rude as I grow older. I’m losing my patience. I have to do something about this. I don’t want to be a bitch arse rude daughter. I have to be more respectful.

Party during lunch time in the office?

Fruits, vegetables, pasta and the sauce.

I glad to have colleagues that are as 'wai sek' as me hehehehe. During lunch time earlier in the week, we were all talking about boring lunches. All of us were sick of bread, sandwiches, 'chap fan' from the cafeteria and instant noodles. So... we decided to have a small party during lunch yesterday.


The sauce I made

I cooked the pasta sauce the day before. Just had to reheat it in the microwave in the office pantry. My other colleagues brought the pasta, the salad, fruits and mushroom soup. Yesterday's lunch was superb.

We are not planning for the next luncheon party in the pantry. Have no idea what to put on the menu though. We only have a microwave oven to reheat in the pantry. We also can't be bringing food that smells too strong, like fish. We were thinking of a steamboat, but the smell would circulate the whole office floor, so it's a very very bad idea. What to eat leh?

The typical IT department

When I was in college, I had no idea what my uncle was saying when he said he was working for HP, level 1 help desk. And I still had no idea what was level 1, 2, 3 when I started working. One of my friends that was in level 3 later on finally explained the difference to me.

I think typically this is the structure if any international\large organisations' IT department (an organisation that provided customer\user support).

Level 1: Level 1 usually consists of a help desk that deals with end users problems. When a computer user faces a problem with his\her PC, or have problems accessing a server, or have application problems, or email ...or virus... or just plain dumb people that needs help, these people will first call up the help desk and ask for assistance.

The level 1 support team (the help desk people) will usually help the user rectify the problem. Before\after\during which the help desk people will create a ticket (A ticket here means something like a tracker entry. Every request to solve a problem is documented in tickets. The date, time, requestor, requestee, approval bla bla bla. There are many ticketing software available, one of them is IBM's Tivoli). If the problem persist or not within the scope of the help desk, the ticket will be redirected to Level 2

Level 2: People here are 'techier' compared to people in level 1. The techies in level 2 maintain all the servers and stuff like that. They usually fix hardware\software\firmware problems that are highlighted in the tickets or by level 3. (Everything that is being done on servers and such must have a ticket supporting it. It's like a security thing also la I guess. You can just simply access a server for nuts. That is why if you are given 3 private test servers that is not under production, its heaven man! Especially if the test server are off the network) I think being in level 2 is very interesting. You get to mess with the servers, configurations, application testing and a lot of tools to mess with. The downside of it is when you need to be on-call, where you are responsible for the server\network 24\7 even if you are in the toilet at home. You laptop must always be around you to access the network and check on the servers.

When I was studying, my networking lecturer used to tell the class that there are ‘lights out’ systems where techies do not have to stay at the servers' side. They go home hence the 'lights out' of the server room. When a server\network crash or has problems or something, the system actually calls up the techies on-call on the phone. Yep, so if you are on-call, you will have to check the servers\network from where you are via VPN or what ever. If the on-call techie is not available, the system will ring up the next person and so on. Neat stuff.

Level 3: I guess this is where all the initial server\network design happens. Whatever applications and are suppose to be on whatever server are fixed by this people in level 3. These techies are often called the 'consultants'. They are the ones who usually plan for upgrade or suggest a new application to be installed... or roll out testing for a new product... I think something like that gua.

Anyone in Level 1, 2 or 3? Not really sure if I'm right with my facts.

long seductive fair legs

I'm so excited! I hope to see her on Monday *grin*

Things have been hectic for me. My mom birthday is coming up but I have no idea what to do\buy for her. Should I just take her out for dinner? Or shopping? But... I'm $less tho part of my name is $. HAHAHA.

Work have been boring. I'm really getting sick of my work. I need a more challenging job. Something totally new to me or something really technical (IT wise) that could tease my brain and curiosity. Bill and I have been exchanging emails, and boyyy his job is so much more fun and interesting compared to mine. He's currently doing Level 2 support, and he gets 3 of his own test servers! wOOt! Me leh....server my butt, I only review server logs. Booohooo.

I'm still wondering if I will still be in my current job next year. I'm looking into other prospects now. But don't know la...just look, see and analyse. Should I really get deep into the IT line, or try something totally new like the financing line? All this I have got to research on. It's easy to jump into a new field of work, but it's not easy to get someone to hire me. IT geek wants to count money hehe? *yeah right, you better just code accounting software*

Sien ler think of all this. I wish I could show life my palm and say "Whatever, mo fan chi ngor (do not disturb)"

Oh yeah... I had chow tofu today! ...and saw a lot of people selling porn. I was browsing VCD when I came accoss a whole section full of porn. I think my reaction was very big and obvious because I remember I said "What the fuck, it's all porn" Boobs were all over the place, long seductive fair legs and arses. BC saw a CD titled Anal'gedon. HAHAHAHA LOLROTF and get a heart attack. The VCD seller pointed at a VCD titled "TSUNAMI 2" ...yes it's porn. I stared at him blankly, and then he said "Errr Hitch also new one. Very funny" HAHAHAHA. All I have to say is guys, OUG pasar malam is your place. Maybe the only reason BC wasn't buying the Anal'gedon was because I was there WHAHAHAHA. (Ok don't kill me hehehehe :P)

Lazy mommy

Aiyor, my mommy damn teruk man. My mom, representing her company, was suppose to fill up a survey questionnaires thing that one of her customers gave her. She took it back and showed it to me. She said "Eh.. go on the internet and search for answers for these".

I took the paper from her, and read the questions. Nani?! (What?!) I gave her a look. Those were questions regarding her companies customer service, customer support, bla bla her company's plus point and stuff like that, where the hell am I going to find information for her on that on the Web? She’s supposes to just give a brief (but impressive) answer to the survey but she took it back for me to do. Apa la.

Anyway, she's sitting outside on the dinning table figuring out how to put sentence on the paper now. I feel a bit bad that I couldn't (...actually I was to damn lazy) help her out. But after all it's her company what... how am I supposed to know what services that her company provides. I gave her some of my opinions and points to make her survey look nice but she rejected most of them... why? ...continue reading.

Me: "Our systems can provide answers your queries relating to our products/your orders, and can provide you with ad hoc reports\information in a very timely manner for your review"
Mom: Har? Don't want la. Later they request for reports, I don't want to generate reports for them. Later they make it a habit how?
Me: *bangs head on the keyboard*

I have more topics to talk to my parents when I started working. Sharing what I learn in my office with them is very interesting. I usually like to listen\analyse to the feedbacks that they give me. What makes these conversations more interesting that is now... my parents actually listens to what I have to say about THEIR office environment. It's like when I work, I'm suddenly not the kid anymore.

I've learnt one thing from this. When you make money, make sure your parents knows about it. They will respect you for it. (You know all that freelance\part time job that you are doing... rub it in to them that you are earning some of your allowance yourself) I think these conversations bring up my confidence (and EGO hahahaha) a bit, especially when my parents agree with what I have to say or when they realised I said something that they have never thought of before. HAHAHA it actually feels good la you know, especially with my mom. For people who really knows my mom... you know what I mean right?

Power of the Pill

If anyone had a copy of TheSun newspaper today, turn to page 20. Interesting article on The Pill. Power of the Pill by S. Indra Sathiabalan

Echo("
Inherent risks involved
- Long-term risk
Previously, the risk of embolism was always present due to high oestrogen levels. But levels of estrogens in the Pill are now lower, so the risk of embolism is also much lower.

- Short-term risk
Progestin used to cause side-effects like water retention, weight gain, mood changes and so on. But not anymore. "Nowadays we have a pill that contains progestin called Drospirenone. It reduces the chances of weight gain" says Associate Professor Dr Jamiyah Hassan (a consultant at the Obstetrics & Gynaecology department of University Malaya Medical Center) This also reduce the painful effects of PMS (Pre-menstrual syndrome)

Other Benefits
Oral contraceptives or birth control pills have other benefits as well. "The long-term benefits are many. It reduces the risk of ovarian cancer by 50%. When we (referring to women la of course) ovulate, we produce eggs, it raptures on the surface of the ovary. This cause trauma and it has been postulated as one of the possible cause of cancer of the ovaries."

"When you go on the Pill, you don't produce eggs. Because there is no trauma of the surface, it protects you from ovarian cancer"

Dr Jamiyah also adds that the risk of uterine cancer and benign breast diseases is also much less. "It also reduces the risk of anaemia. Some patients bleed a lot. When you go on the Pill, you bleed much less. It also reduces pain and congestion."

Doctors can recommend the Pill not for only family planning but also for woman with irregular menstrual cycles. This is provided the patient does not desire to get pregnant at the moment.

");

I didn't know the Pill was also used for woman with irregular menstrual cycles. Then again there are so many things that I don't know and don't understand about my own body. I did my usual Google search again and came across some very informative articles.

Oral Contraceptive Pills and Teens: A Guide for Parents is a link containing similar but more in-depth information to the article I posted above.

What You Need To Know About Menstruation is a more in-depth of the Form 3 Science Chapter 1 I have learn in secondary school, which I personally think it's useless to be taught so late in our growing years. I believe even the most innocent of students would already know females = ovum and male = sperm. I think we should be taught about Testicular\Ovary Cancer, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), other sexually transmitted disease (STDs), the hardship of raising a child, and definitely not hiding the (cons of) abortion topic.

I came across info on the Depo-provera jab. This was something I got to know from Suki in my first year of college, and did more research on it later on when I did my final year project on the 'abortion' topic. I think the jab should be a better contraceptive compared to the Pill for women who aren't afraid of the needles. Then again I might be wrong. Enlighten me ladies. For your information, the Pill and the Depo-Provera jab is legal in Malaysia. Both are non-abortive method, though some abortive methods of contraceptives are legal as well.

Most of the links I have linked here are from http://www.coolnurse.com/ which I think is a good site for people who really want to get some (and even the most simple) questions answered. Now if you will excuse me, I have some reading (of really interesting articles) to do.

Vegetarian Nyonya food

I was at Mama Sayang, a Nyonya vegetarian restaurant in Taman Desa for dinner today. It's very easy to locate the restaurant. It's a corner restaurant, the same row as the Taman Desa hospital.


Statue outside of the restaurant for even easier identification.

I really like the atmosphere of the restaurant. It has those olden coffee shops tables and chairs, with really cosy dim lit oil lamp lightings (it's powered by electricity; the exterior is the shape of oil lamps).


My favourite section of the restaurant.


Other decorations on the wall.

I initial wanted to take some snap shot and do a review on the food, but I forgot. Hehehe I was too busy eating. By the time I remembered the food was almost finished. Overall rating of the food: 9/10 Yum yum!

If anyone plan to eat there, their vegetarian Sambal Petai Prawns is a must to try!

What's the ideal age to get married?

Congratulations Iveen and Ryan!

During the wedding, my colleagues who were married were commenting on the unmarried people's age and estimating whose wedding we are all going to attend next. I knew I was the youngest among them all, so my age and my lack of experience wasn't something that I was surprise of.

What sent the chill down my spine was the age of the rest of my colleagues. We all revealed the year we were born. 2 of them (one male, one female) were in their late 20'ies and still single. Maybe there's not much of a big HooHaa about being single but I think if he\she were me, I would start worrying about my (married) life when I still can't find 'that' man I want to spend my life with. (…but don’t know la…or maybe I’ll just be happy being single) How long does it take someone to find his/her man/woman? What is actually the ideal age to get married? And start having kids?

One of my colleagues is 33 this year and has 2 kids. Another colleague that is also 33 is just going to get married. I personally would like to have a young mommy and daddy, but then, most women today prefer to get married later. And some choose not to have kids. I believe back in my mom era, 24 is the ideal age for females to be married. 26 to 28 for males. But now.... most of the 24 year olds I know are all still very much single and available. I think if we are still living in the old days, their parents will be thinking 'We have got to do something, introduce him\her to someone. What happens if he\she can't get married?!'

Maybe there's no right age to get married and have kids. It's all still up to personal preference right?

Something to think about; Before getting married
- Is he\she the right person?
- Future parents-in-law approval
- Got to save up for the wedding
- I need a house and a car
- For guys: That beautiful expensive diamond ring!

Something to think about; Before planning for a kid
- Do I want more kids? (HAHAHAHA ...badminton team? or football team?)
- Can I support my kid? (Financially and emotionally)
- Am I too old to be having a kid? (Granddad or papa? Mother's health when giving birth)

I feel that there’s much more planning before getting married and having a kid. Someone enlighten me please.

shall we dance?

Shall we dance? If you don't know what I'm talking about, well it's the movie by Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere. I have finally taken time off and went to watch that movie. It's nice!

The movie reminds me of my first Latin dance class I took after SPM. I really really miss cha cha, salsa, merengue!!!, waltz is OK but it kills the back, DISCO ROCK! And so many more! In the movie focused more on waltz, and a little of quick-step and Latino dances. They played Mucho Sway (it's a song) a lot. All I could think of when they played was One Two Cha cha cha, Three Four Cha cha cha hehehe.

I really wished we had famous social dance discos in Malaysia. Most clubs in Malaysia are RnB, Hip Hop and Trance. I have only heard of 2 Latino clubs in KL, and one of them closed down already. Then even if there were clubs like this here, I don't think I could get anyone I know to go\dance with me. Maybe only Wei Chnoong. I think I should take up some dance classes again. Whatever dance will do. Somehow I feel my life is missing without dancing.

I think I've said this like a few thousand time, want to take classes again bla bla bla... but I always end up not doing so. I have to really stick to my plans now. Partner or no partner, just go. But it really sucks when I don't have a partner. I have to work with different people styles and can't really improve on my own. Worst if I get a 'two left feet' partner. I guess there’s not 'win win' situation for this.

Social dance, hip-hop, adult ballet, belly dance and line dance. Which one to take? ....if time and my $$$ permits, I wouldn't mind taking up all of them! hehehe any sponsors?

Loneliness VS aloneness

Today was over flowing with shit. Nope, no pun intended. HAHAHAHA damn shy man. Thank god!!! ...and then in the LRT when I was coming back from work, I saw the cutest most Kawaii Japanese baby boy in my life! He was looking so blur sitting on his stroller. He's head was tilted to his left and he stared at me for a moment. He blink once... blinked twice. AHHHH so CUTE!!!! His cheeks were so rosy and puffy! Just feel like carrying him and hugging him! Hehehehe I didn't of course, I won't want to be on the headlines on tomorrow's paper with "Mad woman on the lose hugging cute baby boys". Too bad I didn't have a camera with me... I wonder if my baby boy will be as cute as him... that's if I plan to have one.

Anyway, the whole me wanting to be alone thing is getting a little interesting. I started searching for articles after I read an email from Alwin. There are two interesting links on his pages. I came across some other interesting links myself.

Coping With Loneliness (A real life story)
I often tell people in my singles retreats that we won't make good partners for anyone in this life if we can't be a good partner to ourselves first....learn to befriend your loneliness. Think of it as your teacher, and ask it for wisdom.

Solutions for Loneliness
There is no definitive answer about what is the correct amount of time to spend with people vs. being along....Red flags; those who require YOU to make a lot of sacrifices or consistently can't come up with their part of the work, money, ideas, etc.

The One in the Mirror: See What You Truly Are. A book written by Ramesh S. Balsekar
It is only such an awakening of Divine Intelligence, which ends selfishness - the cause of loneliness of the self.

Although these articles are not what I'm actually looking for (..and I don't think it relates to me), but interesting stuff about loneliness and aloneness. The most interesting article I found was this. The Layers of Aloneness I'm still in the midst of reading all of it, but I think there's something in this article that would state that me being what i am now, is actually me feeling loneliness. Then again I don't know...We become so detached we feel no aloneness? Got to read the whole thing. Very interesting stuff...at least to me. You can also download the overview here.

I'm thinking of this mediation session and Zhong went with his parents once. (Zhong you remember or not, you said you just sat there and kept quiet, no communication what so ever for the weekend. I think it was weird back then, but now I understand) I think I should attend one of them.

You dont need to be alone to feel loneliness

I received a very meaningful email from a very dear friend... echo("

I think after you start to work, you will realize that you will need more space for yourself, rather than spend it with others. Your family members, your best pal, or anyone. Because we spend too much time, daily with different kind of people. We need to pause to analyse whatever that is in our mind, our life, our surrounding …everything.

9 to 5 working style or 9 to OT will definitely lead you towards this situation. Or I should say, in our life there are some many stages and phrases, where we need to stop for a moment to adapt to it. That's the time we want to be alone, or your so called ‘shut down’, to rebuild ourselves after all those changes, to re-arrange those methods in a program. This helps to get to know ourselves even better and deeper. Understand what are we are all looking forward now. What's our next plan? I do enjoy being alone, I enjoy being alone all this time, since the old days till now. My ex schoolmates used to address me as ‘One Swordsman’. Always being alone, but it really helps to make your mind think better, develop your inner self or should I say to become more mature.

But being alone does not equal to being lonely right? It looks similar but there’s a big difference. Being able to be true and real to ourselves is kind of enjoyment which sometimes people don’t understand it. I admit I am alone but I am not lonely, I dun feel loneliness, because I know how I am going to spend my time, I know what I want to do. Do things which normally I don’t have the chance to do, to do anything as long as I am happy with it.

We usually are kind to people, so much of acting, pretending in our lives, a social’s life. A person may be alone, but she doesn’t feel loneliness because she’s not empty inside.");

All this while I was trying hard to explain to people what/how I really feel. This email really says it all for me. Especially the last sentence. One maybe alone, but one may not feel loneliness. One may have plenty of friends, but still feel the loneliness.

I don't know man. Do I really want to be alone? Yes I think so. But Mr Triple Dash, whom never fails to enlighten me with his wisdom, saw through me, something that I would not realise if not for his words. I want to be alone, but I want to be wanted. ....but getting the 'right' people to want you might be harder. ...thinking about the conversation I had with Cheryl during the last buffet steamboat too now. Sometimes we can't figure the simplest things; we need someone else to tell us that.

I wonder if being wanted by the right people will make me not feel this ‘I want to be alone’ feeling that I’m feeling right now. ….I think too much…. *sign*

GLOW'ing after gym

My gym workout was goooood yesterday! *wOOt* I went for my first gym session yesterday with one of my colleagues after work. Since my company provides gym facility, (We have to pay of course but RM16 a year? No one's complaining) we decided to work up our sweat. We have our very own indoor squash court in the building too! This is way cool.

Initially we didn't plan to stay long. Just maybe 30 minutes to an hour of workout. But... I think we kind of got addicted to the machines there, especially the Syk Walker and the treadmill. We end up spending more than 2 hours in the gym! It was all good. I could feel my body sweat in the air-conditioned environment but the sweat kind of dried up real fast after than. (I was pushing myself to sweat more because I don't feel I have worked my body without feeling the sweat)

I've got to workout properly though. I want to tone my whole body, not only my legs. I might start playing with dumbbells to get Madonna's super mommy arms. I just love them, can make me look less skinny too. Have to do some research on the Internet, won't want to end up building muscles, I just want to tone them.

By the time we took our showers and all, it was already past 8. I walked my friend to KLCC and got a 'dinner bento' and decided to head to Orange for the GLOW event. Initially I wasn't very keen on going, but the gym session kind of warned my body up for some dancing.

GLOW was very very good event! It's the best rave/clubbing event I ever been too! Good music was pumping all night, DJ Xile and BassAgent was superb with their heart pumping trance. The crowd was good. Not to little, not over crowded and all were there to dance. The floor was very suitable for dancing, very smooth...and with added powder, we could all slide all over very well...maybe too well hehehehe. And what I think is the best is, the event was a non-smoking and non-alcohol event. We all survived without alcohol but I saw a few smoking in the premises.

I really enjoyed myself yesterday. I have no idea where all the energy came from too! My legs were aching from running on the treadmill, but I found myself dancing like my legs was in bionic mode. By the end of the event, I could feel my legs corrupting from their joints. My legs were wasted.


GLOW@Orange


I've finally met up with some friends from Clept L-R : eRic, CK, Eunice, can't rememeber his name and me


Reflectors. I like it when phatties turn up in the pictures this way. L-R: Unknown, Winkris, Hayden


Leave me alone! Self explainitory picture. This is how I'm feeling. All eyes on you but you just want to be left alone and unbothered. I love this picture.

More GLOW pictures here.

I thought when I woke up today my legs would kill me, surprisingly it didn't. I think the 'warm up' in the gym helped a lot hehehe. I could feel the muscles strain from gym though. My shoulder and back mussels are sore from my workout. But no pain no gain. =)

I'm a selfish little thing.

I'm going through the 'I'm so bored of life' stage again. I'm so sick of the LRT, I'm so sick of work. I'm so sick of going out, I'm so sick of being broke. I'm so sick of being nice, I'm so sick of being patient. I miss myself. Being in a past serious relationship really made me realise that I miss being alone..... really alone.

I don't know if it's normal to feel this way, but it's normal for me. There are times I just don't want to be disturbed, for days, for weeks, maybe even months. I just want to shut the whole of my world out and let the unknown world come in. During these alone days, I usually find out a lot about myself. I learn things myself, and I cherish these time alone loving myself. Sometimes people ask me, "Why do you want to be alone?" I can't really answer you, except I can just tell you I just enjoy being with myself.

During this period, I don't know why, but I get annoyed very quickly. I won't like getting phone calls. I don't like full-duplex communication. During this alone time period, I think I'm usually quiet, usually just like to listen than talk. But I guess it's like that because that is how I get my focus.

I don't know if I lose my friends during this period. I know Jin, Jun Kun, Zhong and Ying will always be there. It's like no matter how many days, weeks, months or years separates us, they will still be as important to me always....but at times I wonder... how long will it last? And is it a vice versa thing? But the answers to this two questions I don't want to know, at least not yet. But its not my good friends that I'll lose, I think its all the other high maintenance friends. ...High maintenance, low maintenance...it's very bad of me to categorise my friend.

Some ask , "Don't I feel ALONE when you are alone?" That's the point of being alone right? Sometimes I feel chaotic, restless, blurred with to much company. It's like a mix fruit punch, but all I need is a banana smootie. So... I'm going to drink banana smootie the whole month.

I'm sorry if i got cold and bitchy towards some of you all. I hate being the way I am, but I just need to be alone. I don't want to snap at you, so my advice is to let me be la ok. It's not that I'm sick or anything (...wait I am sick, I'm sick of life itself), and it's not like I have a problem and going to kill myself. (You know I love myself too much to do that) So don't worry. I’ve done this before. I just want to Just Be, if you get what I mean.

So I'm going to love myself this month. I’m going to do what I want to do this month. But more importantly, do it with myself. I'm going to be anti-social. I'll be unreachable until I decide to be reachable. Yes, selfish little thing... that's me.

...the only place reachable is my blog.

Why do I blog?

Today's entry is kind of inspired by Mr.Kiasu's blog entry on Why are you blogging?

Why am I blogging? So many reasons, so so many reasons. At first I started off as a 'wannabe' blogger. I only cared for hits. I only cared for increased traffic. I tried to put as much "cool" contents into my entries for that. I was such 'lala blogger' in the past... and maybe even now.

When I read up my archives now... I realised I have changed my blogging style. I put more of me in my blog. I put more what I thought, I put more of my feelings, and I realised that I cherish strangers who was reading my blog, especially once that understand me, and feel me thru my words.

Now back to the question, why am I blogging? Well one thing is for sure... something that did not change, I want feedback. I enjoy comments; I like it when people share their stories and their mind with me. I just like the communication. Or maybe I just like the attention, I was a self centred blogger, and still is.

But then blogging is not just only that to me. My blog knows me. I laugh to my blog, I cry to my blog. My blog is the only place I can be in peace, the only place where I can say my thing. I'm a little like Alice also I think. I seldom share my problems with friends because I'm afraid I'll bog them down. But my blog can't be bog down, so I think I depend on my blog a lot. Again... too many reasons. These days my blog is just like a buffer, storing all my excess thoughts. But this buffer ....well... I can't express a lot of myself in here anymore.

Too many people I know read my blog. It's over exposed. But I am to be blamed for that. When I was a 'lala blogger' I promoted my blog, too many people I know reads this... yes, including you. I can't freely express myself here anymore. Sometimes I just want to bla everything out but when I think of the consequences.... I have to hold back.

I have been wanting to abandon Big Head Big Hat many times before. But I couldn't bring myself to do it because I have developed a love for Big Head Big Hat. I have been thru so much here. My life, my family and friends.

If one day I should abandon this blog……

Happy Birthdai Fei

My sister turns 17 today. Yes la.... faster go take her driving license. Don't have to send her and pick her to places anymore! Muahahaha.

Since my sis wanted to have pasta, I suggested we head to 1Utama Italianis for Italian. I remembered Jin and Amy saying that the restaurant served good food. And yes it did.

There was bread on the table, just a little something for the stomach while we wait. At the side, a plate with a mix of vinegar and olive oil. Very nice smell! I dipped the bread in and tasted good. The bread itself was delicious. Hard crust and soft on the inside. Not too dry but just moist enough to taste the sweetness of the bread.

We had stuffed mushrooms for starters as recommended by Jin. Super delicious! Fresh brown button mushrooms stuffed with marinated minced meat and diced tomatoes served over a cheese sauce. I think I could have eaten all of them!

Then the spaghetti meatballs came. Bolognaise with meatballs the size of tennis balls. Good stuff. I think they mixed sun dried tomatoes with fresh tomatoes in the cause. Very very nice. The meatball (there was only 2, cos the servings were actually meant for 2 to 3 person per serving) was good. Minced beef marinated with herbs.

My dad can't eat beef so we ordered some chicken fettuccine for him. That's the best fettuccine dish I have ever tasted. I don't recommend it for those who can't take cheese or only like Malaysian’ized pasta. I don't know what type of cheese they used but it's definitely not the common ones. The cheese was little, but taste and the smell of the cheese was strong. The thickness of the sauce was just perfect, not too watery. Sounds like we ate very little, we couldn't finish the food!

The deco of the restaurant was nice too. Very old Italian interior, very warm and cosy (and I think with free WiFi too!). The narrow'ness and the length of the restaurant made it even more Italian like. I like the back portion of the restaurant. The walls were decorated like it was made of old rock bricks. The floor was tiled with old broken ceramic tiles. There were coloured glass bottles in all shapes and sizes that also made the place feel very Italian.

The bill came to RM118. More or less RM30 perhead. I think it's worth every single cent that my dad paid. Good food, nice atmosphere and good service.

I'm definitely going back for more food. Want to try some of their herb chicken dish and their pizza. I wonder if it is as good as the one I ate in Sri Hartamas with Jun Kun. Italianis in 1Utama. Nice place with good Italian food. ....now just have to wait for my pocket to fill up with $ hehehe

Zoukfest Genting 2005

ZoukFest in Genting sucked.

#1. The rave was over crowded. Ghetto Heaven was jam packed. The Zouk main arena was even worst. Dancing freely without stepping on someone's feet was impossible.

#2. The sound system sucked. The music was cut off a few time in the main arena, and once in Velvet. The speakers weren’t as powerful compared to the last Genting rave too. The bass can only be felt when we stood near the speakers. The left and right speakers were not in sync too. Instead of one beat of 'doom', it was like .. 'doom doom' ...'doom doom'. WTH.

#3. The music spun wasn't impressive, or at least wasn't impressive to me. Progressive, trance and techno, but what I need was some really hard trance. There was even this part where the music went 'check check check check' replacing the bass. That was after the sound system went down. The whole song was like 'check check check' WTH! Check what? Check the sound system? Check in? Check mate? or isit Check me out? Yeeashh.

#4. Bad organiser. Getting tickets there at Genting was havoc. So so many problems.

Thank god there were friends to make the whole rave fun. The whole bunch of us spent most of our time in Velvet arena because the music was the best out of all 3 arena and the atmosphere and the sound system were better. Had a few really good laughs on the dance floor with the gang.

The weather was really cooling at night. The wind was strong and there was heavy mist. I didn't really had a chance to sweat when dancing out in the open. There were other many highlights of the trip, so I'll let the pictures do the talking.


Threesome. Wahaha


Some guy actually brought a floor mat into the rave to cover the tar road. It got destroyed eventually.


Zouk main stage lightings from a far.


People dressed in red costumes to attract the attention of the crowd.


Velvet arena's deco. Nice.


Gheeto Heaven's stage


The five peas in the room. Bottom L-R: Me and Gordan. Top L-R: Zhong, Adrian and Chien Yin.

More pictures can be found here.

PC at work, PC at home

I learnt something at work yesterday. I had my first audio conference with my counterpart from Huston yesterday. Me and my team leader had to work their time so we were still at the office at night. And for that, my team leader spent me dinner wahahahaha. Had one of those out of the office chat with him also la during dinner. He's quite fun.

I was very timid during the conference. *aieee* was a little afraid to speak up. But the ending was ok because I got some things that I wanted to say across. I hope there'll be more of these coming up (although that only means more problems because there's no need for an audio conference if the work is going ok) so I'll be able to be more experienced when it comes to things like this. I hope I'll get a chance to work all the newly consolidated reports what will be coming. New stuff means trouble for me... but we all learn from trouble right?

Anyway, I'm glad that my darling PC is fine. I didn't think that the impact of losing my PC was going to be that big! But after the other day... cannot man, I just can't live without a PC and the Internet. Believe it or not most of my teen and adult life lies here. Even now when I face a PC for the whole day at work, I still come back...and face my PC. Is this unhealthy?

False alarm

*phew* I tried to swtich on my PC...hoping it would boot. But I knew it was dead....

but...ehhhhhhhhhhhh my screen lit up VIOLAH! MUAHAHAHAHA!

*MUAKS* I love my PC.

My motherboard got fired

^&%&(%T@)(*&#(&@_)#(

My motherboard got fired. This cybercafe sucks. More mistakes at work. Deadline is coming up. More backlogs. Got to stay back until 10pm at work tomorrow.

I won't be blogging anytime soon. ....I NEED A PC WITH INTERNET CONNECTION!!!!

Blog tagging

I got tagged by acrix on this music post. Reminds me of friendster bulitin boards surveys except this is blogging. Not much can be learnt about my music taste in this entry, maybe i'll find time to post about me and my kind of music when i'm free.

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
Have about 450mb left of music on my hard disk. Kept a few current song I like listening too, and 3 trance live track. (…that actually takes up 300mb of the 450mb). Why so little? Well, I’ve got to format my PC soon, got to keep my hard disk clean for a bit.

The CD you last bought?
Seriously I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve bought a CD, original or not. I have not bought a CD in …maybe 4 years! I get a lot of my songs through p2p and bitorrent. Someone buy me John Mayer please….hehehe

What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
The closing song from Samurai 7. I have just started to watch the anime, and the song have been with me all day at work. Just needed a dose of it just now. The anime is nice by the way. I’ve still got 11 episodes to go.

Write down five songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
Hm…this is hard. There are many songs that meant something to me in the past … and in the present. (Named in a random order, there’s no such thing as a 1# favourite for me.

1. DJ Tieso – Just Be
When I was in trouble, and when I was frustrated, and when I was confused, this song helped me think. It helped me by telling me Just Be. Just be myself. Beautiful song with a beautiful lyric.

2. Hanson – Penny and me
Enough said. Penny knows so that’s enough. =)

3. Kylie Minogue – I believe in you
Her songs always send shivers down my spine. *burrrr* Love that feeling.

4. Maroon5 – She will be loved
I never knew the title of this song until now, I only know I like the song.

5. Usher and Sting – Rise and fall
I have been listening to it every morning and evening when I’m to and back from work. The tune of the song makes me feel like I’m in one of Anne Rice’s books. Very nice to be the theme song for her Beautiful Dark Graceful Vampire books.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?
Sonia and also her bf. Papi+mami+yiyi. Bernat. ...Well there's more than 3 person but at least its still 3 blogs. Just curious about them ;P ...I also wonder.. Mr Triple Dash...what music do you like?

BBQed pork rice

I had the best 'siew yoke fan' (BBQed pork rice) today! Zhong was in KL today so we ate lunch together. He brought me to this place in Jalan Tiam Shin.... isit? Kind of forgot hehehe, but it's behind Jalan Alor. It's an old house converted into a coffee shop selling chicken rice and siew yoke.

It's the best siew yoke I've tasted in my life! The outer part is chrispy and juice, and the meat inside is soft and tender. Unlike the normal once we eat... hard on the inside and outside, dry, and with no taste without the sauce. The best thing about the siew yoke is that the fat is actually still there! Yups, fattening but you'll have to eat it man, you'll feel skinny immediately! You can order side dishes along with the chicken and siew yoke too. Some 'kai lan', or 'nga choi' (beans sprout).

Very good food. But over priced for chicken siew yoke rice. RM18 for two of us.